Aug 21, 2006 - Things have certainly changed

Its certainly been a while since I even thought about adding a blog update but I find myself needing to get a couple of things down on paper (figuratively speaking)

i have had the unfortunate responsability in getting rid of my workforce And making them redundant. Due to customers not paying their bills, not honoring forecoming contract and a couple of errors on my part I will admit I have had no choice. The crappiest part of all this is that one of my employees has recently become a dad and he needs the work, but I can't pay him for nothing i suppose. Addedto this the redndancy laws here in France are crippling I have had to invest mown money in a cash trapped company to pay them. I could have put the company into bancruptcy but i didn't want to do that as I still believe their is a future in it. I have now depleted a good part of my own savings and have had to forego purchases that are relatively necessary for the company. So I'm now back to working physically again on a slightly smaller scale and will need to re-employ someone in the next month or two as the contracts start to come in again (i hope)

Since my mutually decided split earlier this year from my longish term girlfriend, which was no real bad thing as we had become friends and nothing more (on both sides) I have ertainly had some good and bad luck where the women are concerned.

Firstly the bad luck - I have since found out that my ex is seeing a married man, who i know, and has been for quite a long time. now I did have a lot of respect for fanny (yes that's her name and know all the connitations) but that has now been thrown out of the window. i'm not angry at her for doing this but am dissapointed that she did'nt show respect for me. Our relationship was dead along time ago we just didn't admit it to each other so their isn't any real hurt. Then I did a stupid thing I started seeing another girl, whilst one side was good (you know what i mean) i soon realised that we were not exactly on the same level. i tried to distance myself from the relationship, but unforunately the girl had other ideas. She kept hassling me by phonecalls, text messages and letters, She even threatened my home. She beame a right nightmare. Which has only now just strated to calm down and give me some peace.

Now the good Luck - In june i bumped into 'Laure' in the supermarket, now i have known Laure at a distance for about 18 months. She invited me for a quick drink, which we had and that was that. Until that is we met up again and I invited her to dinner. It was quite apparent that we got on exceptionally well from the begining. She's actually an English teacher, from the south of france, at a local school. So we start dating a little and things just get better and better. This year I have managed to have 3 weeks off for holidays and have spent 2 of those weeks with her (and at times a friend of hers). laure & her freind Marie even took my offer up for a lift into spain where they had been planning on going for their holidays and ended up spending some time with me at my parents house in spain before moving on. when i left spain i went to see some friends in the south of france and laure eagerly joined me there.

Now sadly i am back up here in the north of france and have to wait until the 25th for laure to come back. she's staying a her dad's house in the south. Then on the 26th we are off to the UK for a long weekend.

I know it is still early in our relationship and we are certainly just getting to know one another, but I can't help hoping that this is the one!!!! You see after a real crappy relationship in the UK and a dead one hear in france, plus a few adventures here and there, I was begining to wonder if I would stay single and lead a bachelor life. But thanks to Laure i have some renewed confidence in the female species. i live in hope

Apr 04, 2006 - Life s crappy at times

Well here goeas a more personal blog due to the recent events that have happend to me ove rthe last few weeks.

Now I am a contractor with employees and have a responsability to pay them at the end of each month together with my social charges etc... So why is it that customers think they can just piss me around and not pay when the works are completed. i have currently 30000€ outstanding from 2 clients and it is really putting the pressure on the position of the company. One customer says he will be over here in france to pay me in two weeks time - why can't he just transfer the 'putain' (i might get away with that word as it is not in english - dB) money. The other client cannot get the funds released from his bank due to a contractural issue. Now my conract is with the client and not the bank so i now have to take both of these crappy clients to court in order to get my money. I am seriously considering giving up the contracting side and try to concentrate on just the real estat side once that is fully up and running. the problem with that is i feel responsable to my employees and do not want to let them down.

-new subjuect-

One moth ago I split up from my girlfriend of 3 & half years she stayed living in th house just until last weekend when she moved out. I really thought that things would be easy given our situation had turned to being just good friends without the spark. but hey how wrong I can be. The house feels larger than before and I just can't seem to concentrate on things in and around the house. My office is in the house and I need to knuckle down and catch up on some paperwork but i really am not interested. EVEN my music is starting to suffer. I now have the oppertunity to do as much as i like when i like but am not motivated. My band recently started to lay down tracks for a new demo and they keep asking when the mixing will be finished so that we can overlay some stuff to them. I just haven't had the inclination to further the tracks to the next level.

-new subject-

i have been living in france for the last 5 years (my choice). i have been estranged from my children since 7 years (NOT my choice) The youngest had his 7th birthday 2 weeks ago and I have only seen him twice in his lifetime. My eldest will be 11 this year (born the day before my brthday) Now i obviously won't go into the situation in detail due to possible legal implications etc.... But this situation really sucks. how can 1 woman decide not to let me see my children. (failings of the english law system because we weren' married I have no parental rights) Why would anyone ant to be so vindictive as to try and screw my life up. Now there are times when life goes on and you accept the situation but there are also times when like at the moment you really need to see your own flesh and Blood. Gos I miss them!!!!!!

- New subject -

psent this last weekend partying due to the situation at home. I spent mos of friday and saturday in a bar 20miles from home with the waitress behind the bar, we went out to another bar after she finished and did the same on saturday. Now i have got to know this girl over the last month and she seems really nice. One year younger than me, intelligent etccc..... but i know that it is too soon after my recent break up to take it any further. We socialise together and communicate on the same level spend time with each other as friends. But it seems she is wanting to progress things and I do not know if i should. Yeah we seem to get along and yeah their is a strong attraction but i think it would be wrong at this moment in time. The fearful thing is that one part of me doesn't want to miss the oppertunity (but hey thats the male species all over isn't it)

So just recap my life over the last few weeks has been pretty crappy and I just hope that things work themseleves out. Now i know a lot of people have it harder than me and i am not saying that I have it the worst, it's just at times things send you downhill and you eep on that spiral of descent for a while until you want to get out of it.

Feb 01, 2006 - I've finally taken the plunge

No i don't mean i'm getting married but I have finally forced the wallet out of it's hiding place and purchased a proper sound card.

Now it has been almost a year since I started on HRC and you cannot believe the dilemma i have had in choosing a sound card for what I need. I went from the basic m-audio24/96 through to firepods to hoontech to tascam and back again. You cannot believe the strife this has caused me.

I now have grey hair saggin bits pieces and high blood pressure.

I can only salute all you members, both pro and (what do we call them) non-pro? members for all of your infinate wisdom.

So you are probably wondering what card I bought.

Now for this I have to give special thanks to Noise for the review and surfcout.com for the price €219 brand new.

Ok Ok i'll tell you ESI ESP1010

Now the only thing i have to debate over is the preamp issue but i think i have that covered UB2442FX from the mighty 'B' (well i am reasonably sure I jus hope that choice doesn't take another year

Look out for the long list of questions that will be coming your way over the next 15 years